‘Aunt Flow’ and ‘Crimson Wave’ among some of the WORST terms for your period
Or a “woman’s time of the month. “
I vividly remember a popular sanitary pad advert, where the model spent three-quarters of the time sauntering around the room with a flower shielding her vagina, and the voice-over, in soft tones, constantly using fluffy terms to refer to her menstruation. I remember thinking: What’s the point of all this? Call a spade a spade, and a period, a period.
Here’s my first argument: It’s not a gorgeous celebration of womanhood or the welcomed presence of Mother Nature; it’s a pain in the… you know… down there.
Secondly: When it comes to ‘women’s issues’ – bras, periods and condoms basically – there’s a tendency to tiptoe around the issue because God forbid we actually discuss them openly.
So here’s a list of slang terms referring to your menstruation that should be banned. For life.
1. “That time of the month”
Never been cool with this. It sounds like a secret thing that happens to your body that cannot be spoken of, for fear that if you do, you’ll burst into flames.
2. “Your menses”
Just. Stop. it.
This is not Game of Thrones. It’s not medieval times.
4. “The dot”
It’s more like a thousand dots.
5. “The friend”
Only people who have do not have vaginas, talk less have bled from them, can consider your period ‘a friend’. My friends don’t make me moody.
6. “Leak Week”
I’m not a tap. Even though sometimes it feels like it.
It’s not your favorite magazine or newsletter that comes to you every 28 days.
8. “Red river”
The image that comes to mind is just unpleasant.
9. “Aunt Flo”
The wordplay (‘Flo’-‘Flow’) is admirable, but no.
10. “Crimson wave”
Again, graphic. It makes you think of surfing in an ocean of blood. Or worse. An interesting name for the soft drink Capri Sun (Sorry).